and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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