NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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