Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize