I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
