guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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