Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize