You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize