I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
