They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
