My Higher Power is John Stamos
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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