He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.