I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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