i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.