Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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