no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
