I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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