as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
