so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
