I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
