pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
