I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
