Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
