Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
