i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
not ubering you a puppy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
