someone threw a dead crab at me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
