Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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