Porn is love you can see.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
