Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize