what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
