all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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