Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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