every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize