Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
