Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
