you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
