...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
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No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
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Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity