u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?