What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
