Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
