ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Four minutes until I can fart!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
