it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
