She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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