I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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