he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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