She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
