According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
