glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
