I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
