New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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