plz talk dirty to me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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