Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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