I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
