My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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