I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
