I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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