I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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