I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
