its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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