He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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