There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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