New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
