whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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