he was CRYING into my vagina
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
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