White coat. Heels.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm both gender and math confused
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
