ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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