please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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