I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
