I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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