I wish I could punch you in the face.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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