the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
