No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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