just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
