garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
